The ZiMask
by The Qing
Summary: A postal mix-up results in Zim receiving the almighty Mask! Watch as 2 of the world's quirkiest stars join forces to conquer the world! (ZimThe Mask crossover)
1. Cast of Characters

The ZiMask

Author Note: This is my attempt at making an Invader Zim/The Mask Crossover. This chapter is a bio page that has info on all the main characters. Including Zim and The Mask. P.S. "Irk's Last Stand" is something I made up.

Full Summary: After saving his species from certain doom, Zim is given his Invader status back and receives a 30 year time limit to conquer Earth as a reward. Unfortunately, 29 years later, Zim has made little or no progress of taking over the globe. He's practically given up on conquering…much of anything. Until a postal mix-up results in Zim receiving the one and only Mask! Watch as 2 of the world's quirkiest stars join forces to destroy/take over the world, literally! Somebody stop them!

The Good Guys (Kinda):

Zim-Alright, so maybe Zim isn't much of a good guy with the whole "I will destroy the world" thing going on. But he's the main character so trust me on this. Anyway, after Zim saved the Irken Empire in "Irk's Last Stand" the Almighty Tallest had little or no choice but to reward him with the social status of an invader. Like any invader, Zim has a time limit of 30 years to conquer his planet; otherwise he fails his mission and gets demoted as punishment. But despite being an invader and destroying his rival: Dib. Zim has all but squandered his 30 years and he soon finds himself with one year remaining. This is partly due to the fact that the Swollen Eyeballs constantly ruin his plans. Now, Zim lives in a rundown apartment with his sidekicks and he's realized he can't conquer the Earth in just one year. So he promptly gives up. But a certain magical mask is about to change all that…

GIR and Minimoose- Zim's sidekicks are just as adorable (and hapless) as ever. Minimoose is the more reliable sidekick of Zim. He's usually the one fixing Zim's machines or fetching groceries from the nearest galactic Mega Mart. Minimoose can only communicate via squeaks, he can hover and has an incredible arsenal hidden in his Nubs of Doom. Zim's robotic partner GIR, however is the polar opposite of Minimoose. He can speak many words and languages and he is totally incompetent (not to mention insane). The only trait that he and Minimoose share is the destructive armaments they have hidden in their bodies, which (like Minimoose) he rarely uses. GIR aspires to become a spy with an ice gun.

The Mask-The Mask is a powerful artifact in the form of an ordinary wooden mask. Whoever wears The Mask becomes a living cartoon. He becomes criminally insane, invincible, can create objects out of nothing, and his/her face becomes green. (Or in Zim's case: "greener") All of his deepest desires are within his reach. But with this much power lots of people want the mask. Now I suppose you're wondering that "If you can pull a 3 ton baseball bat from your pants and can turn a pea shooter into a rocket launcher, what can hurt you?" Well The Mask and Zim are about to find out.

The ZiMask-When Zim wears The Mask he transforms into The ZiMask! A maniacal irken with a taste for mayhem and bad jokes, The ZiMask can alter reality and drive anyone flat out bonkers! As for his appearance, just picture Zim in a magenta Zoot Suit, remove the antennae, give him eyes with black pupils and a magenta felt hat and voila, The ZiMask! Using The Mask, Zim transforms his broken-down Voot Runner into the ultra stylish Zoot Runner. But can The ZiMask stay sane enough to conquer the world? Or save it, for that matter?

The Bad Guys:

The Swollen Eyeball Network- Since the death of Agent Mothman (a.k.a. Dib) the Swollen Eyeball Network has become extremely aggressive towards Zim. Under the leadership of their new leader, known only as Big-Head. The Swollen Eyeballs have been ruining Zim's plans for world conquest for the past 29 years. But now that Zim has The Mask will he become a bigger or smaller target for the Swollen Eyeballs?

Big-Head- Big-Head is the enigmatic leader of the Swollen Eyeball Network. With a few exceptions, Big-Head has pretty much done what Zim could never do. He's almost conquered the world. And the only thing stopping him from obtaining total control over the world is President Membrane. Big-Head seems to despise the prominent professor more than he dislikes Zim. Now, Big-Head seeks a way to dispose of the beloved president once and for all. He needs help. But he's not looking for just any kind of help. He's looking for a _special_ kind of help in the form of the legendary Mask. Big Head will stop at nothing to get the artifact and is more than willing to pry it off Zim's cold dead face.

Dib- Dib was Zim's old rival, always trying to expose Zim as an alien. He disappeared shortly after "Irk's Last Stand". No one knows what happened to him. But we might just find out.

W.A.L.T.E.R- In the past, Walter was The Mask's most powerful (and freakishly persistent) adversary of The Mask. Walter possessed super human strength and invincibility only second to The Mask's. He was a huge lumbering powerhouse that had a vendetta as big as his size against The Mask. In the future, it seems that the powerful mob killer has finally bit the dust. (Courtesy of The Mask) But you never know what size or form revenge can take. You never ever know…

Kellaway the 7th- For the past 7 generations, the Kellaways have been hunting The Mask. But despite their best efforts, the family of mask hunters always found themselves on the wrong side of the atomic wedgie. But Kellaway the 7th won't rest until The Mask is either behind bars, or on his face.

The Guys in Between:

Hobo- Despite living in the gutter, this Hobo seems to have a vast knowledge of everything that goes on in the city. Both The Swollen Eyeballs and Zim frequently go to the Hobo for information and advice.

Gaz- Now in her adult years, Gaz is now head-honcho of the Gameslave corporation and owns a large share of Bloaty's Pizza Hog. Because he destroyed her brother, Gaz sometimes helps Zim, but not very often.

President Membrane- After achieving world-wide acclaim, Professor Membrane ran for President of the Entire World and won. President Membrane is always inventing new ways to help humanity. He's a constant nemesis to Big-Head, and he's determined to put the Swollen Eyeball boss in custody. But he's going to have more than the Swollen Eyeballs to worry about, when The ZiMask comes to town.

The Author:

The Qing: Look, I'm not really going to be in the story. But let's just say that if anything goes out of control. I'm going to try and fix it…


	2. Prologue of DOOM!

Prologue of DOOM!

Author Note: Hope you like it.

A worried looking man in a plaid coat shivered as he made his way to the post office. As he made his way through crowds, people seemed to part for him. The man wondered if these civilians sensed the urgency of his mission and the importance of the parcel he held so tightly in his hands.

The man's teeth chattered and he thought of holding the package to his chest for warmth, but instantly dismissed the idea. When he entered the post office he immediately went to the nearest counter and spoke to the man manning it.

"Yes, how may I help you?" the postal worker yawned.

"Y-yes um, uh." He put the parcel on the mailman's table. "I need this package delivered to this address." He pointed to some writhing on the package. "Please use the express cannon."

"The express cannon? Man, you must be in a hurry. Okay, I'll see what I can do." The mailman picked up the package and threw it on a conveyor belt marked "CANNON". "There, done. It should be at that address in 10 minutes. Uh, yeah."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!" the man in the plaid coat skipped as he walked out the door. Thankful that the people he sent "it" to would be able to dispose of "it" properly.

A few minutes after it was put on the conveyor belt, the package was loaded into a giant cannon. The cannon's AI system carefully aimed the package at the given address and fired. However, the system was 1/25th of a mile off and the package collided with a plane, bounced off a hospital and finally landed in front of a strange green dog.

The dog looked like it was something else inside a really bad dog costume. Actually it was an alien robot named GIR. GIR looked down at the now luminescent package and smiled. "I found chocolates!" he picked up the package and ran towards his home.

To be continued...


	3. A Mask of His Former Self

A Mask of His Former Self

GIR ran to an apartment building with The Mask in his arms. Now I suppose you're wondering what happened to Zim's previous base. Well let's just say that his house was destroyed by a certain paranormal organization bent on world conquest! But we'll get to that later. Right now let's see what Zim is doing…

Zim took a few careful sips from his 3rd cappuccino, trying to ignore the pain as the black watery, substance went down his throat. He then directed his attention to his computer. After the Swollen Eyeballs destroyed his home, Zim had sworn revenge on the shadowy organization. He got a job as a midget cubicle drone for one of their companies, hoping to uncover more information. That was 28 years ago. Now he was just in the job for money and he simply drank coffee because it was the only thing that could keep him awake. The job was slowly driving Zim up the wall. His co-workers made fun of his height (which hadn't increased since Skool), the working hours were too long, his cubicle smelled of human filth and worst of all was…

"Hi Zim!" a cheery voice from the cubicle beside him cried…Keef. As if to add to Zim's misery, one of his co-workers was the over cheery Keef. "How you doin'?"

"Horribly."

"Wow, that's great!" Keef shouted.

Among all the things he hated about his job. Keef was the worst. It was like sitting next to a piece of gibberish. Zim longed to destroy him. But destroying a co-worker was against company policy. "Keef, please try to keep your voice down. Before I replace your eyeballs…again."

"You got it buddy!"

"Hrrrr…one of these days I'm going to…going to…oh forget it." Zim quickly got back to work.

A few minutes later a horrible noise filled the office. "Zim!" a voice boomed from the intercom. "Come into my office!"

Zim groaned. The voice belonged to none other than his boss, Mr. Mollie. "_What does he want this time?"_ Zim wondered as he got out of his cubicle and headed for Mr. Mollie's office. The office of his boss was fairly decorative, with lavish furniture from around the globe. The room itself echoed with class, integrity, and well-mannerism. Mr. Mollie however was the polar opposite. He was vulgar, impatient and very rude and smelly. Zim took a seat in front of Mr. Mollie's desk. "Hello Mr. Mollie. Why did you call me?"

"Well Zim, I'd just like you to know…that I'm decreasing your salary!" Mr. Mollie laughed.

"What! Why?" Zim asked intensely.

"Well I got a splitting pain in my butt and the operation needed to fix it is a bit expensive." Mr. Mollie explained.

"But you're rich! Why do you need the monies of Zim!"

"Mainly because I don't feel like paying with my own money." Mollie said. Zim wanted to protest but was silenced when Mr. Mollie said these words. "If you don't accept, you're fired." Mr. Mollie smiled.

At this Zim would usually say something on the lines of: "You waste of filthy Earth space! Do not dare threaten the magnificence of Zim! For one day I will climb the ranks of this pitiful dirt ball and crush you all! You hear me? CRUSH!" But the years had not been kind to Zim. What he really said was: "Okay, Mr. Mollie." Zim muttered.

"Hehe, glad you see it my way Zim. Now get back to work! Time is money!" Mr. Mollie pressed a button on his desk and a trapdoor opened underneath Zim's chair. Zim screamed as he fell through the hatch. "Oh, I never get tired of this job." Mr. Mollie said to himself. All of a sudden his phone rang. Still smiling he picked it up. "Hello?"

"Don't hello me!" a deep, raspy voice hissed from the other line.

Mr. Mollie gulped. "Why, Mr. Big-Head. What do I owe the honor of the-"

"Can it Mollie!" the caller known as Big-Head shouted.

"Y-yes sir."

"I just wanted to check if our little project is going along smoothly."

"Y-yes, it's all prepared. All you need to do is give the order and our project will destroy President Membrane." Mr. Mollie chuckled nervously.

"Good, good. Hahahahah! But make no mistake Mollie. If this project fails, I will hold you personally responsible. Don't think that being part of the Swollen Eyeball Network, exempts you from feeling my wrath." Big-Head threatened.

"R-right. Goodbye." Mr. Mollie put down the phone and wondered how he got caught up in this business.

(Later…)

Zim grumbled as he made his way up the steps of the apartment building he took residence in. What he wouldn't give to put that "Mollie" human in his place. But what could he do? All of Invader energy that once flowed through his veins like radioactive rubber pants was all but depleted. He no longer possessed the zeal and determination he had in the past. And as he unlocked the door to his apartment he thought of how glad the day was over. Until he saw GIR about to bite a wooden mask. "GIR what are you doing?" Zim asked. The irken quickly snatched The Mask away from GIR.

"I was gonna eat the chocolate!" GIR said innocently.

"GIR! This isn't chocolate." Zim waved The Mask in the air. "It's some sort of wooden human mask thingy… I'm going to throw it away before it infects us with Earth germs!"

"That's okay." GIR said happily.

"DO NOT RESIST…wait, did you say I could throw this Mask away?"

"Yeah, because we can probably get another one on t.v.!" GIR pointed at the television which was showing a rerun of Mysterious Mysteries.

The Mysterious Mysteries episode showed a picture of a Mask. Zim was shocked to see it looked exactly like the one in his hands. "The Mask." The announcer explained. "Is one of the world's most famous legends. Thought to be created in Africa (others speculate it is of Viking nature) The Mask has the amazing ability to give it's wearer anything he or she wishes. Though the user has his/her conscience and inhibitions removed thus turning him into a insane living cartoon, many still search for The Mask to gain this absolute power. Last sited in New York, it's current whereabouts are unknown. But who knows…" the announcer pointed at the camera, as if pointing to Zim. "You might be next." Afterwards the show's credits rolled, and The Mask was still in Zim's hands.

Zim looked down at the wooden Mask in his hands. It didn't look like much. It looked like it would be a better paperweight than a tool for fulfilling dreams. Yet as he continued to stare at The Mask, he couldn't help but notice it was generating an eerie magical glow. Zim wondered what the harm of trying it on was. It was probably a fake anyway. He slowly lifted it to his face, but a split second later The Mask slipped out of his hands, went over his head and landed on his Pak. Then something like an electric storm engulfed Zim's Pak and the irken began to spin wildly out of control. And that's where things got real interesting…

Author Note: When Zim spins wildly when The Mask combines itself with his Pak, he spins like The Mask does when he's transforming.


	4. Twice the Chaos, Half the Size

Twice the Chaos, Half the Size

Author Note: For those of you wondering what The ZiMask looks like, look back to the bio page. (Cast of Characters) I'm having a friend (The X-plotion) of mine create an illustration of The ZiMask. He'll eventually finish it and post it on deviantART. I'll tell you when, though.

Zim continued to spin with such velocity, that he resembled a spinning green tornado. The twister jerked left, right, forward, behind and all directions in between. GIR and Minimoose stared at it in silent amazement. Actually GIR was eating a taco, but he was silent. When the twister ceased their eyes widened. "Cool!" he screamed through mouthfuls of taco, when he saw the now transformed Zim.

Where the sullen, defeated, and tacky Invader Zim once was, now stood the grinning, determined and oh so stylish ZiMask. The ZiMask was roughly the same height as Zim, had a manic grin on his face, looked almost exactly the same and wore a magenta Zoot Suit. "SSSSmmookkkin!" The ZiMask cried. He quickly zipped to his computer keyboard. "It's payback-time! P,A, Why? Because I just gotta!" The ZiMask quickly typed in a few commands. "Now before I go out to rain some DOOM! I gotta get my self a descent set of wheels!" With a puff of smoke a platform dropped from his ceiling and when the smoke cleared there was…nothing on the platform. "WHAT?" The ZiMask shouted. "Where's my Voot Cruiser?" Then The ZiMask remembered. "Wait, I think I'm getting a flashback!"

(Flashback)

"What do you mean it'll cost 6000 monies to fix my Voot Cruiser?" Zim shouted at the engineer on the communications screen. "I just wanted my boosters cleaned!"

"Sorry, but we-uh found something wrong with your-uh brakes." The engineer said slyly.

"My ship doesn't have any brakes!"

"That's what we're-uh trying to fix." The engineer smirked. "We'll send you the bill."

(End Flashback)

"Oh yeah…those crooked car repairman took it! I gotta get it back!" But then Zim realized he didn't have a ship to reach the engineer's garage, seeing as how it was 10 thousand light years away. "Hmmm…oh I know." The ZiMask quickly whipped out an envelope. Put a stamp on his head and abruptly put himself in it. The enveloped ZiMask turned to his sidekicks. "Guys I'm going where no invader has gone before! Well many invaders might've gone there before, but I bet none of them went there in an envelope!" The ZiMask laughed.

"Cool, can you get me another taco on your way there!" GIR asked.

"Silence! Or I'll give you a paper cut!" The ZiMask threatened. "Whoa look at the time! I better go." The ZiMask quickly took out a large cannon, stuffed his enveloped form inside, lit the fuse and was about to shoot himself into space until…

"Squeak!" Minimoose squeaked, interrupting The ZiMask's launch.

"You don't think this cannon can send me 10 thousand light-years into space? Why not?" The ZiMask asked tensely.

"Squeak!" Minimoose replied.

"Fine. I'll fix it. Sheesh." The ZiMask took out a sticker that read "Ten million times the speed of light" and slapped it on the side of the cannon. "There it's fixed. Happy now?" Minimoose was silent. "Good. Very good. See ya!" With a satisfying BANG the cannon launched "the special delivery" past the atmosphere and into outer space.

After The ZiMask blasted himself into outer space, GIR quickly hugged the t.v. "I love you t.v.!"

(10 thousand light years away…)

Slock the engineer and his brother Mick were enjoying big, juicy burgers in their spaceship repair shop on Planet Con-em' 5. The 2 were celebrating their recent scam's success. They had conned an irken Invader into giving them 6000 monies to fix his non existent brakes. And the best part was that the invader couldn't do anything but pay the price. Or so they thought. Suddenly a flaming envelope crashed through the shop roof. The two con artists were flung from their chairs and soon found themselves on the floor. The ZiMask burst out of the envelope and turned to face the engineers. "Hello boys. Hope I'm not interrupting you. I'm just here on behalf of the health department. Now show me the food!" The ZiMask ordered.

"But we don't have any food." Slock stuttered. He was clearly intimidated by The ZiMask.

"Then you both FAIL!" The ZiMask spun like a tornado and sucked Slock and Mick in. When it ended The ZiMask was holding a see through capsule with the two brothers crammed inside. "The both of you will be sent back to Planet Foodcourtia where you will retake the fry cook test and renew your food handling licenses. Have a safe trip!" The ZiMask put the capsule in a large bazooka and fired.

"But we're not frrryyyyccccooookkkssss!" they shouted as they were shot to Foodcourtia.

"You know…I'm starting to think they weren't frycooks after all." The ZiMask shrugged. "Oh well. Might as well get my Voot Cruiser…and maybe all their money." A few minutes later The ZiMask had found both the money and his Voot Cruiser. But despite being reunited with his beloved ship, The ZiMask seemed discontent. "This is my set of wheels? Impossible!" Then he saw the ownership tag that was labeled Zim. "Okay, so maybe this is my ship…But it could use a few adjustments. Now, get ready you fashion nightmare because you're no mach for…" The ZiMask spun and transformed into an artist looking version of himself. "Snooty Artist Man!" The ZiMask took out a pallet paint set and a paintbrush. He put a hand on the Voot Cruiser before spinning it like a top. The ZiMask proceeded to paint the spinning spaceship. When The ZiMask stopped the Voot Cruiser, it had been completely transformed. The Voot Cruiser was now sleek, fast, had turbo boosters in the back, had flames painted on the side, the cockpit was a deep shade of purple and there was a huge blaster on the hood. The Voot Cruiser had been transformed into (drumroll please…) The Zoot Cruiser.

"Now this is something I'd like to be caught dead driving." The ZiMask (reverted to his usual form) jumped into the cockpit. "Let's get funky." He turned on the hydraulics and put some fuzzy dice on rearview mirror. "Now back to Earth, I'd like to talk to a certain someone who happens to be my boss, who happens to have a girlie last name." He put the Cruiser in "Ridiculously Fast Speed" and flew back to Earth.

Upon reaching Earth, The ZiMask used his ship's radar to find the office he worked in. He immediately rammed the ship into Mr. Mollie's office and casually stepped inside to greet his boss. "Hey Mr. Mollie!" The ZiMask shouted to his now-terrified boss.

"Wh-what do you want?" Mr. Mollie whimpered.

"Well I like your clothes. Mind if I take them? Is that a yes?" The ZiMask tore of Mollie's clothes leaving his employer in his boxer shorts. The ZiMask turned his boss around. "Prepare to gain 21 grams."

"You're gonna kill me?" Mr. Mollie asked fearfully.

"Nah, I said you were going to gain 21 grams, not lose em'" The ZiMask assured.

"Why?"

"Because that's how much this live, hornets' nest weighs." The ZiMask fished a hornet's nest out of his pocket and shoved it into the back of Mr. Mollie's underwear.

"AAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!" Mr. Mollie screamed. He began to wildly hop around in pain as the enraged hornets stung his butt.

"Now you really need that butt-fixing surgery." The ZiMask pointed out, laughing as he did so. "You know, I feel both responsible and kinda sorry for your current predicament. So I'll help you out." The ZiMask pressed the "down" button on the nearby elevator. Mr. Mollie immediately hopped inside of it, wanting to put as much distance between him and this maniac as possible. After the elevator doors closed shut, The ZiMask used his x-ray glasses to see how Mollie was doing. "Annnd he's in the lobby."

"EEEKKK! Someone call a cop!" a lady in the lobby shouted when she saw Mr. Mollie in his underpants. A few minutes later Mollie was arrested by the police for slight nudity and animal abuse to hornets.

"Well my work here is done…But first…" The ZiMask logged on to Mr. Mollie's computer. "I think it's time Mr. Mollie gave Zim a raise."

(Meanwhile on the Foodcourtia restaurant Shloogorgh's)

Sizz-Lor sighed. He really needed help with the restaurant. All of a sudden a capsule crashed through the roof and crashed down to the floor. (There seems to be a lot of crashing in this chapter) "What the?" Sizz-lor looked down at the capsule and saw there were two people crammed inside. He picked up the capsule and cracked it open like an egg and the two people spilled out on the floor. Sizz-Lor recognized them immediately. "Hey! You're those two idiots, Slock and Mick who charged me 10 thousand monies to fix my ship!"

"Well, we fixed it didn't we?" Slock said in their defense.

"It broke on my way to work!" Sizz-Lor roared. Slock and Mick gulped at this. Then Sizz-Lor smiled, not a nice smile, but one of those psychotic kinds of smiles. "Luckily for you two, there are a couple of vacant positions for frycooks. So, what do you say? Wanna be frycooks at Shloogorgh's?"

Slock was about to protest, but seeing the Sizz-Lor's psychotic smile he said. "What does the job pay?"

"Minimum wage." Sizz-Lor replied. Mick was going to say no but… "Or would you boys like to see the secret ingredient of our special sauce?" Sizz-Lor added.

"Um, OK we'll take the jobs…we just got 'fired' from our last one." Mick said, recognizing the threat.

"Great." Sizz-Lor grinned. He put 2 Shloogorgh uniforms on Mick and Slock. "Welcome boys." Sizz-Lor pulled his new workers into a painful hug. "Welcome to the Big S." Sizz-Lor laughed. Slock and Mick were laughing to, though it was more like pathetic whimpering.

To be continued…


	5. Recipe for Mayhem

Recipe for Mayhem

Author Note: The X-plotion has created an illustration for The ZiMask! He'll post it up eventually. By the way, thanks for all your reviews!

(Swollen Eyeball Network Base #234)

The ZiMask quietly snuck into the compound. For weeks this newly built outpost of the Swollen Eyeball Network had been an eyesore to Zim. He longed to destroy the accursed skyscraper, but he lacked the firepower to take it down. That is until now… The ZiMask kept his course until he was half a mile from the base. "Seems kinda big, to destroy this I'm gonna need some real firepower." The ZiMask took out a large cauldron and turned himself to a chef. "Maybe I can cook something up."

(Enter flashy cooking show.)

Narrator: And now, live from the outskirts of the Swollen Eyeball Network Base #234 is "Dishes That Go Boom!" with The ZiMask!

"Hello all my loyal viewers!" The ZiMask waved as he entered the kitchen. "Today I'm going to teach you how to make a small, but freakishly powerful bomb. Now the first step is to get a large cauldron, though you can also use a medium-sized cauldron." The ZiMask slammed the cauldron on the table. "Now proceed to pour in the ingredients which you can find around the kitchen." He took a large brown bag and put it next to the cauldron. "Put in a gallon of Tabasco, then a jar full of horseradish, twenty chopped pieces of TNT, add some bell peppers and put the lid on and let it simmer for a few seconds." He put all Tabasco, horseradish, bellpeppers, put the lid on and turned on the heater. A huge explosion followed. "Don't worry folks that's a good sign. Now that it's heated, time to make the sauce. Get a conventional pot and fill it with oil, afterwards put in some bullets, shrapnel, a live puffer fish, some volcanic ash, and for that way of the samurai feel, some _wasabi_!" The ZiMask mixed all these in the pot. "Now dunk this in the cauldron, squeeze it into your oven and let it bake." The ZiMask instructed. A few minutes later the oven blew up. "Now remember kids always use your oven mitts when dealing with ovens." The ZiMask used his gloved hands and took the cauldron out of the oven. "Presto." He removed the lid to reveal a small football-sized bomb. "A small, but freakishly powerful bomb made easy. Tune in next week when I show you how to make an atomic soufflé!"

(End flashy cooking show.)

"Now it's time to turn that skyscraper into sky scrap!" The ZiMask took the small bomb in his right hand and was about to throw it.

"Hey you!" a security officer named Bob shouted from behind the irken. "Put the bomb down!" he ordered.

Now in that situation The ZiMask had three options. One, throw the bomb at the building. Two, surrender to Bob. Or option three… The ZiMask did his trademark spin attack and roped Bob in. When it stopped, Bob was in a football uniform and The ZiMask was dressed as a coach. "Alright Bob this is it! The winning point! If you score this, then it's 'Hello championships'!" Coach ZiMask commended.

"Wh-what's going on?" Bob asked. The ZiMask promptly slapped him in the face.

"Don't go all wacko on me now, man! I know we're under pressure! But ya gotta do this! Ya gotta do this for the team!" The ZiMask squezed Bob's cheeks to emphasize his point.

"But I don't understand." Bob stuttered. The ZiMask slapped him again.

"There's nothing to understand Bob! I just want you to run up to that goal post…" The ZiMask pointed to a large white goal post that had miraculously appeared in the entrance of the Swollen Eyeball building. "And spike this ball on the ground!" The ZiMask took out the football-sized bomb he had created earlier, only now it was sloppily painted as a football.

Bob looked at the football bomb, confused. "But this ball looks more like a bom…"

"No defying my authority damnit!" The ZiMask thrust the football bomb into Bob's arms. "Just go go go!" The ZiMask pushed Bob forward. Bob had no choice but to run. But the n Bob felt exhilarated, powerful and determined. He ran like the wind. Unfortunately some of his fellow guards saw him run towards the base.

"Is that Bob?" one of the guards asked. "Why's he dressed as a football player…is that a bomb he's carrying! We gotta stop him!" the guards dashed at Bob, trying to halt him.

But Bob pushed them all away, screaming. "I'm gonna score a touchdown!" Bob pressed onward despite the protests of his downed fellows. When he finally arrived at the goalpost he raised the bomb over his head and cheered. "I did it!"

The ZiMask was also ecstatic. "Yes, he made it! Cue the cheesy inspirational music!" The ZiMask dunked the contents of a cooler over his head. "Now Bob spike it! Spike it!" The ZiMask ordered. Bob nodded and brought the bomb overhead and threw it down on the ground. Needless to say, the bomb blew up and the base collapsed in a matter of seconds. "Ohhhh…went out with a bang!" The ZiMask looked at his watch. "Whoa! 5:59 am! Time to catch some Zs." The ZiMask dashed home, and got into his bed.

(6:04 am)

"Ohhhh…" Zim groaned in his bed. "What happened?" All of a sudden, vague memories of bazookas, cooking shows, hornets and low-fat GalaxyBucks milkshakes filled his head. "Did that really…?" he then saw The Mask lying a few feet away from him. He picked it up and re-examined the artifact. "Must have been a dream. No way this bizzare wooden thingie could do such amazing things!" He threw The Mask onto the near by couch before plopping himself next to it. "It must have been caused by stress. Maybe some tv will calm my nerves." He took the remote control out of the sofa and turned the television on.

"In other news, local businessman Mr. Mollie was arrested last night for prancing around in his underwear. The tyrannical high-roller was also implicated with harming an endangered species of hornet." The News Anchorman said. "And about 5 minutes ago, the Swollen Eyeball Network building #234 was bombed by one of it's employees. The bomber was oddly dressed as a football player and claimed that an intruder made him bomb the building. Though reports are sket…" the reporter wasn't able to finish. As Zim had pressed the "Off" button on the remote.

"Stupid, Earth propaganda! Insane security football earth monkeys mean nothing to me! Neither does that stink-human Mollie! Heh. Though it was kinda funny when he kept jumping around like that…" Zim smacked himself on the head after he had said that. "Focus Zim!" he commanded himself. "This planet is driving you crazy!" Zim panted for a good fifteen minutes. "Maybe some wholesome galactic cable will help." Zim pressed another button on the remote to turn on the Galactic News.

"A few hours ago two con artists/spaceship repairmen, Slock and Mick were robbed of all their monies while they were on Foodcourtia. The two are now working in Schloogorgh's to repay their debts to Sizz-Lor, among others." An alien reporter announced.

"Ha, those two deserved it!" Zim laughed.

"Next, we have exiting coverage of a strange snack theft…" the reporter started.

"Hmmpphh…that doesn't sound so bad." Zim smirked.

"-On the Massive." The reporter finished. Zim's jaw nearly hit the ground in shock. (and if he were wearing The Mask it probably would've) "It seems that an unidentified spaceship that resembled a Voot Cruiser literally sucked the snacks right out of the snack pods using a straw. Irken officials believe that it is a Resisty based attack. More details coming soo…" Zim punched the tv off before the reporter could finish.

"Snacks? I don't remember any snacks! Must have been a mistake. Hey…does this couch feel lumpier?" Zim noticed that the couch was a bulkier than usual. He bounced on it a few times and a slight tear appeared. Out of curiosity he looked into the tear. He saw that the ordinary stuffing had been replaced by a plastic magenta, but was shocked when he realized what he was looking at. "Snacks!" Zim used his hands to increase the tear to reveal more snacks. "My couch has been stuffed with snacks! This can't be possible!" he picked up The Mask and stared at it with ferocity. "All right you wooden Earth mask thing!" Zim yelled at The wooden Mask. "Do you realize what you've done?" Zim looked at the inanimate object fiercely. "If the Tallest find out you stole the snacks I'm doomed! Doomed, do you here?" Zim received no reply. "I don't get it! How does this thing work? Hmmm…it's a long shot but what choice do I have? Maybe they have answers!" Zim put on a hobo disguise before putting The Mask in his coat and he ran out the door.

A little while later GIR came in the apartment. "I'm hooo..." then he spotted the broken tv. "Nooo!" the robot quickly hugged the tv. "Are you okay? Who did this? WWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY!" GIR grieved over his smashed tv. "I'm gonna make a sandwich now!" he got over it.

(Hospital)

"Ow!" Mr. Mollie cried as another stinger was removed from his behind, "Can you please do that a little easier."

The robot doing the operation sighed. "Sorry sir but this is the best I can do. Now hold still. We still have to remove 19 more stingers."

"No! Leave the room! I have an important phone call to make!" Mollie barked at the robotic doctor. The operator complied and left the operating table. When he made sure that absolutely no one was watching, Mollie turned on his cell phone and switched to the "special" line. He pressed a few numbers and put it to his ear. "Hello Mr. Big-Head."

"Who dares to call me at this hour?" a fierce voice boomed from the other end.

"S-sorry sir. But I had to call you." Mollie shuddered.

"If you're talking about your hornet accident it's not part of the Network's insurance policy, so tough tamales!" Big-Head barked.

"No sir you don't understand. I think I found it." Mollie lowered his voice to a whisper. "I think I found The Mask!"

To be continued.


	6. ZiMask & Conquer The Musical

ZiMask & Conquer The Musical

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, The Mask(I wish I did) or Michigan J. Frog. But I do own The ZiMask.

(Gameslave Corp.)

When Gaz took over the Gameslave Company, she had done some serious remodeling. The building had been painted black and dark purple. Purple transparent tubes wrapped around the towers. The walls of the building were as thick as tree trunks. The towers looked like gigantic claws. The middle section was similar to a torso with a glowing jewel in the center. And where Gaz herself dwelled was in the tallest tower that resembled a giant triangular head. In short, the building didn't look like a building at all. It looked more like a gigantic robotic body!

But enough about that. Zim was currently in the giant head…I mean the tallest tower, talking with Gaz. "Are you listening to me Gaz? ARE YOU! You got to change the color scheme of this place! I feel like I'm on Nocturno 9 every time I come here! I'm thinking magenta velvet and maybe some green would do this place some style."

"Get to the point Zim." an adult Gaz said impatiently as she was playing a Gameslave 17 prototype. Gaz had grown up over the years. She was now stood at an average adult height. Her hair had gotten slightly longer. And she now wore a business suit.

"Oh, right. Well I'd like to talk to you about this!" he took The Mask out of his coat pocket to show it to Gaz.

"A piece of wood?" Gaz observed "You interrupted my busy schedule…to show me a piece of wood?"

"I know it might not look like much…in fact it smells kinda nasty but…This is The Mask!" Zim exclaimed.

"You mean 'The' Mask?" Gaz said. "The legendary Mask?

"Yes it's 'The' Mask!" Zim snapped. "And I need to know everything there is to know about it!"

"And you're here because?"

"Because you have the 2nd most powerful computer in the world! I bet there's at least a few documents that have more information on it."

"Frankly Zim, I don't really care. So I'm just going to eject you from this building before you say something even more ridiculous." Gaz reached for a small button under her desk that activated the eject feature.

"Wait! Just let me prove to you that it works!" Zim begged. "But know this, I am only partially responsible for the events that will transpire!"

"Go ahead." Gaz said, calling Zim's bluff. Zim smirked, he then slowly moved The Mask to his face…SPROING! Zim was ejected from the building via Gaz's spring-loaded floor. "Oops, my finger slipped." Gaz quickly returned to playing her new Gameslave.

(Outside)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"Zim screamed as he was ejected from the building. He screamed even louder when he started falling towards the ground. Thinking quickly, he tried to put The Mask on but it once again slipped and landed on his Pak. Zim started to transform, spinning as he did so. Unfortunately, the spinning quickened his descent. A few seconds later, Zim had fully transformed into The ZiMask. "SSSSmoki…" The ZiMask fell down the ground, and was killed instantly. A magenta streak on the sidewalk, dead, gone for all eterni- "PSYCHE!" Actually he was just fine. The ZiMask pulled himself up and decided to have a nice, calm, afternoon. "Hmmm…now what should I do?" The ZiMask thought. "Perhaps I should use my powers to help my fellow man…or maybe I could just go shoot spitballs at President Membrane. Or maybe…" The ZiMask thoughts were interrupted by a flying shuriken that had imbedded itself on a nearby wall. "What the-?" The ZiMask turned his head in the direction the shuriken had come from, to see 5 ninjas in battle stance. "Uh, can I help you?"

One of the ninjas glared at The ZiMask threateningly "We seek The Mask!"

"The Mask?" The ZiMask questioned.

"Yes, The Mask." The ninja answered.

"The Mask?" The ZiMask asked again.

"Yes, The Mask!" the ninja shouted angrily.

"The Ma-" A shuriken interrupted The ZiMask's question.

"Shut up!" the ninja screamed. "We have traveled many miles to obtain The Mask." The ninja removed his katana from it's scabbard. The other 4 ninjas did the same. "Now, surrender The Mask over to us! And we shall spare your life!"

"Hey, how do you guys know so much about my Mask, anyway?" The ZiMask inquired.

"Well, it's all in this ancient 1000 year old scroll." The ninja put his sword away and took an old-looking scroll from his pocket. "It explains The Mask's powers and how it works. There's even a very morbid illustration on it…" the ninja said as he opened the scroll.

"Oh, let me see!" The ZiMask nimbly snatched the paper out of the ninja's hands and looked at the scroll. It showed a green faced samurai burning a castle with a flame-thrower. "Aw, my eyes are closed." The ZiMask sighed as he saw the picture of the crazed pyromaniac samurai. "If there isn't a line can I go back and do it again?"

"Relinquish that scroll!" one of the ninjas ordered. "It is a valued artifact!"

"But it's just what I need for…" The ZiMask did his spin attack and took the form of a kung-fu master. "The ancient art of Origami! Watch closely." The ZiMask ordered in a japanese accent. The ZiMask started to crumple and bend the paper till it resembled a crane. "Crane!" he quickly turned it into another animal. "Bull!" he did another paper creature. "Loch Ness Monster!" and with each origami creature, the ninjas paled more and more. "Now for my final creation!" The ZiMask turned the scroll into a paper bird and took a lighter out of his pocket. "Burning Phoenix!" he used the lighter to set the origami bird ablaze. And for one brief moment, the bird burned with such elegance and beauty that the sight entranced the ninjas…Before it turned into a smoldering pile of ash.

The 5 warriors were immediately snapped out of their trance "Noooooo!" the ninjas howled in unison. "Restore it!"

"Geez you don't have to shout. I'll restore your precious family heirloom." The ZiMask assured."Sheesh, no one can take a joke these days." The ZiMask cupped his hands over the ashes and blew at them. "But first…my personal favorite." As The ZiMask blew the ashes weren't being restored to their original state, instead they seemed to expand and inflate like a balloon. When he was done, the ashes were no longer black, but resembled a bright green energy ball. the ninjas slowly backed away when they realized what The ZiMask held in his hands. "An energy ball!" The ZiMask laughed. The 5 ninjas attempted to flee from The ZiMask. "Hey, you forgot your scroll. Hado-ken!" The ZiMask hurled the green energy ball at the fleeing ninjas, and with a KO all 5 were down for the count. "You Lose. Continue? 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…Game Over. See ya! Please play again. Hahahahah!" The ZiMask cackled. The ZiMask turned back into his normal form. But suddenly, the ground began to shake violently. As if some monstrous being were taking giant footsteps. Or a vast army was heading in his direction.

Actually it was the latter. In a matter of seconds The ZiMask found himself surrounded by a vast army of renegades and huge tanks. Each of the rogue soldiers was decked in thick, brown, futuristic armor and all carried big guns. Did I say big? I meant gigantic! Their handguns alone are about the size of your little brother! Anyway, one of the soldiers (who was probably the leader) lifted a megaphone and shouted. "Alright you green faced freak! Give us The Mask and we promise we won't shoot you…more than once."

"A tempting offer, Major Bad Hair day…But I think I'll pass." The ZiMask put on a jetpack and jetted away.

"After him! For the honor of the Mud Urchin Army get me that Mask!" the leader soldier barked.

As this was happening, two Swollen Eyeball Members (Alex and Luke) were in their car at a red stoplight, waiting for it to change green. "Look Luke, someone has got to guard the car." Alex said to his partner. "So why can't you stay here while I get The Mask?"

"Because you always get to shoot stuff and I never get to do anything exiting." Luke complained.

Alex was about to retort, when suddenly The ZiMask jumped onto the scene dressed in a tuxedo, cane and tophat. The ZiMask started to dance across the street singing:

_Hello, my baby,  
Hello, my honey,  
Hello, my ragtime gal!  
Send me a kiss by wire;  
Baby my heart's on fire!  
If you refuse me,  
Honey, you'll lose me,  
Then you'll be left alone;  
Oh, baby,  
Telephone,  
And tell me  
I'm your own._

After The ZiMask had danced across the street, Alex and Luke made an attempt to get out of the car to give chase to the Mask-wearing irken. But found themselves unable to when the Mud Urchin army roared past them and went after The ZiMask. The sight of the armor-clad and heavily armed renegades chasing a dancing ZiMask gave the two agents quite a fright. "You know what? Maybe I'll just guard the car!" Alex blurted.

"Yeah, me too." Luke agreed, for they were both frightened at the prospect of facing either force.

(Back to The ZiMask…)

Eventually, the Mud Urchin Army had managed to corner The ZiMask against a brick wall. They all aimed their guns and tanks at him. "Hehehe, you gave us quite the run Mask-wearer!" the leader of the Mud Urchins chuckled. "But you can't escape the most dangerous army of rebels the world has ever seen." The ZiMask was growing quite bored at this speech and yawned. The leader kept up his egotistical chatter. "Surely you will never find a more skilled group of terrorists and mercenaries anywhere else." The ZiMask was now in pajamas, hugging a plush toy moose and sucking his thumb. The Urchin leader didn't seem to notice. "After all, we wouldn't be the world's most feared criminals if the bounty on our heads wasn't 1000000000 dollars!"

When he heard this, The ZiMask woke up instantly. He slid towards the leader "Did you say you're army is worth 1000000000 dollars?" The ZiMask smiled an unpleasant smile.

"Yes…"

"Dead or alive?" The ZiMask asked, drawing a concealed missile launcher from his back pocket.

"Alive." The Army's leader stated.

"Dang!" The ZiMask cursed. "Well, I don't need this anymore." The ZiMask threw the missile launcher behind him causing it to explode. BOOM! "_Alright ZiMask your in a real pickle_." He thought to himself. "_I could destroy them all, no sweat. But then I'll be missing out on 1000000000 bucks! What to do? What to do? Wait…I think I've got an idea."_ The ZiMask spun around and turned himself into a gangster, holding a violin case. "Alright you punks time for you to…" he reached his hand inside the violin case. The Mud Urchins instinctively aimed their weapons at The ZiMask because they all thought he was going to bring out a tommy gun. (you know, just like gangsters do in the movies.) Instead, The ZiMask brought out an actual violin from the case. "Face the music!" The ZiMask finished. The Urchins laughed at this. After all, what could a violin do? The ZiMask transformed into a hillbilly costume. He started to fiddle and sing.

_Bow to your corner, bow to your own._

_Three hands up and 'round you go,_

_Break it up with a dosey-do._

_Chicken in the bread pan kickin' out dough,_

_Skip to ma Lou my darling._

_Back you go and forward again._

_Step right up with an elbow swing,_

_Skip to ma Lou my darling. _

For some bizarre reason The Mud Urchins started to dance as the song instructed. The song continued.

_Promenade across the land,_

_With your partner close at hand,_

_Don't you shoot and don't you rave,_

_And everybody promenade._

_You're doing well I see,_

_I'll punch you if you punch me,_

_Slug him again, like you did again,_

_And end it with a blow to the chin._

The soldiers obeyed the song and punched one another. The ZiMask started handing out clubs to all of them. Singing and fiddling as he did so.

_Now take a club, hold it tight,_

_Bash your partner with all your might,_

_Bash him high and bash him low,_

_Till his bruises grow,_

All of the soldiers of The Mud Urchin Army took a club and started hitting each other on the head until the clubs broke from the repeated bashing.

_Now keep up my friends,_

_Until your club breaks end to end,_

_When that happens just throw them away,_

_Take your partner, promenade again._

_Now it's time to fight like a tiger in a cramped room,_

_Give em' a dropkick,_

_A Clothesline to the face and a suplex too._

The soldiers were now pummeling each other with wrestling moves.

_Now promenade into the jail,_

_Parade inside like your going to Yale,_

The Mud Urchins paraded inside the police station, noses lifted high and went inside the prison cells.

_Now you're in jail,_

_Bow to your partner,_

_Bow to the warden,_

_Now I'm going to the get my reward, see you later SUCKERS!_

The ZiMask went to the nearest officer. "As you can see I've subdued The Mud Urchins and I want my reward of 1000000000 bucks! Come on. Show me the moolah!"

The officer looked at The ZiMask then at the captured Mud Urchin Army. "Sir, it doesn't look like you had any difficulty handling these guys." The officer said. "For all we know they could've just come in here by their own free will."

"Uh…difficulty? You want to talk to me about difficulty!" The ZiMask spun and turned himself into an old sea captain. "It was a terrible battle it was!" he said in a sailor accent. "There were villains to my right, soldiers to my left, tanks to my front, and a rabid Barnukean monkey behind me. But I fought them all off. Gave them the old one-two I did. They didn't stand a chance!" As The ZiMask told the officer his elaborate lie a nearby detective was looking at The ZiMask rather curiously. If anyone ever needed further explanation as to"Why?" then one would simply look at the detective's nametag: (Kellaway) and he'd have all the explanation he would need.

Author Note: Whew, longest chapter yet. I would like to add that when The ZiMask is dancing "Hello My Baby" he dances like Michigan J. Frog. Also, if anyone hasn't guessed. Zim transforms into The ZiMask when The Mask lands on his Pak.


	7. 7 Generations of Major Persistence

7 Generations of Major Persistence

(aka There's The Easy Way, And Then There's The Kellaway)

Author Note: Guess who just hit the jackpot and got the original "The Mask" graphic novel? Me, Myself and I! So I was curios to know if any of you would like me to put quotes from "The Mask" comic book, like this:

"Say, did you just call me **fruit**? Well, you're right!"-The Mask

So please tell me your opinion. If you want me to put these quotes in the beginning of each chapter, say so. If you don't, say so too. It's your choice. Thanks. Now, on with the show! (End Author Note)

When we last left the "Masked Invader", he had just nabbed the dreaded Mud Urchin Army and reaped a reward of 1,000,000,000 dollars. And now, The ZiMask is faced with his most daunting and harrowing task yet…counting his money. "987,654,123. 987,654,124." He counted as he walked down the street. "987,65-I lost count!" he laughed in glee. "I'm rich! Rich! Rich-a-licios! And all I had to do was to have a bunch of idiot renegades beat each other up." So great was his glee, that The ZiMask didn't notice the shadowy figure that was stalking him.

The shadowy figure removed the safety pin from the grenade in his hand and aimed at the unsuspecting ZiMask. "Alright shortie." He said through gritted teeth. "Let's see if you're the real deal." He threw the grenade at The ZiMask. It was a direct hit and The ZiMask was engulfed in the blast. The stranger just stood there, waiting for the smoke to clear.

"OW! The agony, the agony! It hurts…not." The ZiMask coughed. "Alright, who was the jerk who threw that-." The ZiMask wasn't able to finish when he saw that the cash he was holding was now burnt to a crisp. "My money's been vaporized! Okay now I'm mad!" The ZiMask turned to the direction the grenade had come from and saw the stranger.

The stranger was dressed in a black overcoat, brown plants. He wore red gloves and had brown shaggy hair. "Well, well…you really are wearing The Mask. My name's Kellaway." The strange introduced himself. "And I've come for my Mask."

"Yeah, well I'm The ZiMask. And what do you mean by 'your' Mask? As you can see, I'm still wearing it." The ZiMask pointed out.

"Look you crazy punk! I've been searching for that Mask for years! And no one not even you is going to stop me." Kellaway shouted. He removed a revolver from its holster and aimed at The ZiMask. "Now hand it over you little punk! Or I'll shoot you so full of holes that-."

"Did you just call me li-little?" The ZiMask asked furiously

Kellaway seemed amused. "Yeah, I did shortie."

"Shortie!" The ZiMask stomped towards Kellaway and looked him straight in the eyes. "Alright jerk, you can throw grenades at me, threaten me and make a long, pointless introduction. But when you insult my size, that's just crossing the line!" The ZiMask aimed a huge cannon and fired a missile labeled "Retribution" at Kellaway. It hit Kellaway square in the chest and sent the detective hurtling into the sky, where the missile detonated. "Well, that takes cares of that loser. Now maybe I'll have some lunch." ZiMask decided to eat at a restaurant that served waffles because they were the only Earth Food he could eat. He found himself a seat at a café that was right next to a hotel and waited for a waiter.

"What would you like for today, sir?" a waiter asked from behind The ZiMask.

"Yes, I'll have some waffles and some-." The ZiMask turned to see that the waiter was…Kellaway…with a machine gun "Um, didn't you just get blown up?" Kellaway didn't answer; instead he unloaded a few dozen rounds of ammo at The ZiMask. The ZiMask darts into the hotel and into an elevator. "Okay, that was weird."

"Going up?" a familiar voice asked. The ZiMask gulped and saw that the bellhop was really Kellaway dressed as one. The ZiMask screamed and jumped out of the elevator when it reached the 14th floor and used a pair of big scissors to cut the elevator cord, causing the elevator to plummet downwards.

"That's should've finished him…but just in case…" The ZiMask threw a small, purple, mechanical sphere bomb down the elevator shaft. "There, now I can finally relax. I mean, a guy could go bonkers getting chased around like that. Time to leave." The ZiMask made a move for the elevator… "Maybe I'll use the stairs instead."

Once outside, The ZiMask walked down the street, whistling and wondering how he should conquer Earth. "A mind control device sounds good…or is that too cliché? A nuclear war could do the trick…Nah, too few survivors. Spreading a killer disease would seem reasonable…but they might find a cure. Maybe knocking the planet into the sun? No, that's too 'Planet Jacker'. Should I run for Ruler of the World? That could work…" But before The ZiMask could contemplate whether his "good" looks would give him a political edge in the polls, he bumped into Kellaway…again. "Oh come on!" The ZiMask was about to run when he realized something. "Wait a minute! Why the heck am I running away? Nothing you do can hurt me!"

"Good point, no conventional force can hurt you. But nearly two centuries ago, the first Kellaway tasted the power of that Mask. That was 7 generations ago and his descendants have been hunting for it ever since." Kellaway explained. "But you raise a very good topic. For noting but nothing can hurt The Mask, nor pry it from the wearer's face. But after years of going around the globe I finally found the one thing…" he plunged one of his hands into his overcoat. "That can beat The Mask!" Kellaway slowly pulled something out of his coat. It was a…glowing, green plunger.

At this, The ZiMask laughed. "That is the one thing that can beat me?"

Kellaway twitched at having his weapon mocked. "In one of my travels, I chanced upon an alchemist. After giving him a brief explanation of my plight, he created for me this powerful weapon to pull The Mask right off of it's wearer. Thus reverting him back to his original state."

"Um, Kellaway." The ZiMask could scarcely contain his laughter. "In case you haven't noticed…your 'powerful weapon' is a plunger!" The ZiMask was now rolling on the sidewalk, laughing like crazy.

"Yes, though I would have preferred it to take a more menacing form…this was the best weapon the alchemist could create." Kellway said, trying not to lose what little respect The ZiMask had for him.

"So was this alchemist guy a plumber? Because I seriously think your obsession is a major 'pipe' dream." The ZiMask was standing now, wiping tears of joy from his green face.

"Enough of your chit-chat! Let's get down to brass tacks!" Kellaway ordered. He lifted the enchanted plunger over his head. "Draw your weapon."

"Ok, I'll 'flush' your dreams down the drain." The ZiMask giggled. "But unlike your weapon." He reached into one of his coat pockets and pulled out a big mallet. "Mine doesn't 'suck'!" He lifted the hammer over his head and swung it at Kellaway. Only it didn't. The hammer seemed to sag and go limp. As if it were a balloon that had just been deflated. "Oh, well I've always been more of a firearm enthusiast!" The ZiMask pointed a large gattling gun at Kellaway, but it to went limp. "Uh-oh." Kellaway made his own attack and brought the plunger to The ZiMask's face. Even with his weapons failing like that, The ZiMask was still skeptical on the might of Kellaway's plunger. So naturally, it surprised him when he felt The Mask being slightly tugged off his Pak. The ZiMask quickly jumped away. "Hey, that plunger nearly worked." He said in shock. All of a sudden, realization hit him full force. "GREAT GHOST OF DOOKIE! THAT PLUNGER NEARLY WORKED!" The ZiMask screamed as he ran away from The Mask hunter. Kellaway took of after him in hot pursuit.

(Later)

The ZiMask ducked into a nearby alley and hid next to "The World's Deepest Bottomless Pit". "He's like some sort of not…giving up…cop guy with guns and a glowing green plunger!" The ZiMask huffed. "Maybe it's time to change strategies."

"Hrrr…that's enough!" Zim roared, regaining control. "I'm taking over!" Zim pulled The Mask off of his Pak and reverted back to his normal irken form. "That's better…I guess."

All of a sudden, Kellaway dashed into the alley and saw Zim. For a few brief moments, Zim thought the jig was up. But then… "Hey, little green guy!" Kellaway shouted. "Have you seen another green guy in a magenta suit run by here?" Kellaway asked.

"_What the?" _Zim thought. "_Wait, He doesn't recognize me without The Mask!" _Zim smiled at this unforeseen event, already contributing it to his amazingness. "He went in there!" Zim cried, pointing to "The World's Deepest Bottomless Pit".

"Thanks…wait…are you sure?" Kellaway questioned.

"You dare doubt the amazing ocular implant seeing abilities of the almighty, amazing and incredible Zim! Are you afraid of a little bottomless pit? What am I, you're smeet handler? Go, go into the pit! It is your destiny!" Zim cried with zeal.

"Yes! Into the pit!" Kellaway jumped into the pit, screaming like a madman as he descended into it's dark depths. "I'm coming for you ZZZiiiiiiMMMMaaaaasssssk!"

Zim wasted no time in sealing the pit's entrance, by slamming a giant lid over it and grafting it into the ground using the lasers of his spider legs. It took him a minute to realize what he had done. He had done it! Him, the amazing Zim! It was like The Mask had been giving him some of his old confidence back! And soon, soon, even sooner than you think. With the help of The Mask he would now conquer the world. "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed to himself. But if he had known just how brief his moments of joy would last, he would have focused less on laughing like an intergalactic jester and more on stocking up on the heavy artillery.

(The next day…)

For the next day he was late for work. (What? You think his bills pay themselves?) And as much as he hated to do it, he hailed a taxi cab and went inside. "Where to?" the cab driver asked. Zim was about to answer when he suddenly recognized the cab driver and his voice. The driver turned to Zim and smiled. It was Kellaway. With a press of a button he locked the both of them in the cab and started to drive…destination: Unknown.

To be continued…

Author Note: There you have it. The first (but not the last) appearance of the new and improved Kellaway. How does he keep coming back, you may ask? Well…let's just say it's still in the works. But I can tell you that it will be a bit clearer than the dreaded Walter's invincibility.


	8. SIR of The ZiMask

SIR of The ZiMask

Author Note: Sorry for the wait. Me and my family went to Thailand for a few weeks.

Disclaimer: I don't own Zim, GIR, The Mask, Mission Impossible and James Bond.

Author Note: Okay, I know that many of my reviewers have been perplexed at the concept of "what if" GIR got a hold of the Mask. Well this is my concept of a GIR/Mask. Though if you don't like it, keep in mind that GIR constantly reinvents himself and his ambitions, thus every time he puts on the Mask his form will change depending on what he wants. (Mongoose, scary monkey, a real boy or even a taco) But for now I'm sticking with this version and if you have any ideas on the MASK's latest form, feel free to review and voice your opinions. Thank you.

After a few minutes of humming as he drove down the road, Kellway looked at the rearview mirror to observe the trapped Zim. Then he looked out the car window. "Well, this is our stop." He brought the car to a halt, but no sooner did the car stop moving, Zim used his laser cutters to cut through the door and escape. Kellway yawned at this. "They always have to do this the hard way…" he muttered as he lit a cigarette and took a good look at their current location: an abandoned power plant.

Once he had gone inside the factory and gained a reasonable distance between himself and Kellway, Zim turned on his communicator in hopes of reaching GIR or MiniMoose. Preferably the latter. "GIR, MiniMoose! Are you there?" Zim saw instead of the faces of his 2 sidekicks on the communications screen, there was a strange yellow-orange substance that was obscuring his view. "GIR! Where are you? What did you do to the communicator? You better get that slop off the communicator! Or so help me I'll-." But a slurping sound interrupted Zim. GIR's tongue had licked all of the yellow-orange substance off the screen. "Ewww…I didn't mean it like that!" Zim said in disgust.

"I was feedin' cheese to the computer!" GIR wailed happily, licking his lips of the remaining cheese.

Zim shuddered. "GIR, where's MiniMoose?"

"He's off taking groceries at the Galactic Sooper Market!" GIR replied. "I got a DVD of Mission: Impractical and the entire Agent Double-0-9.65 collection!" he said, showing a bunch of DVDs. "Wanna watch?"

"Gee GIR I'd love to, oh wait, I just remembered. I'm hiding in a stupid power plant and being chased by an insane Earth cop!" Zim's rant would have continued if he hadn't heard a clank from a few meters behind him. This made him realize that if his voice was too loud, Kellaway might locate him. So he lowered his voice to a whisper. "GIR, I'm sending you the coordinates of my location. Bring the Mask here and give it to me." He was about to turn the communicator off but subtly added. "And whatever you do, don't wear it." Zim ordered, fearing the results if the Mask were to be worn by one so spontaneous as GIR. He would've given GIR more instructions, for more were obviously needed, if a karate chop to the head hadn't knocked him unconscious and cut his communication with GIR short.

(Zim's apartment)

GIR stared blankly at the computer screen which was now showing static. He then swiveled his head to the Mask, which was lying, on the floor. He picked it up and held it to his face. But then he remembered what his master had said. "And whatever you do, don't wear it. Don't wear it. Don't wear it." These words echoed in the back of GIR's brain. "**CHOCOLATES!**" he slapped the Mask on his face and transformed. But once again, his stupidity won over common sense.

After that long Author Note, GIR had transformed into a Mischief Attack Sabotage Katastrophe unit. (or MASK for short) A green faced, tuxedoed version of himself that carries a large ice gun and speaks with an educated accent. "The power of The Mask is coursing through my very circuits. The power…the power is incredible." MASK said to himself. "It's also boosted my intelligence! I must use these powers to serve the irken power. I must act as the fast forward button of their VCR of universal domination. And above all else, I must help my master conquer this puny unsophisticated world!" MASK struck a heroic pose. "But first…" his feet transformed into huge boosters. "I must save the galaxy for I am secret agent Double-0-GIR and must eliminate those who would attempt to take over the universe!...and maybe I'll eat tacos." He blasted some furniture with his ice blaster and flew away to fight evil in the galaxy.

(Meanwhile…)

Zim groaned as he regained consciousness. He wished he hadn't though, because the first thing he felt was a major headache. He lightly rubbed his head and looked around. He was sitting on a small wooden chair, next to a brown table in a dark room. "Where am I?"

"Good question." A familiar voice said. A split second later a blinding light shone on Zim's face. "But we've got better ones." The voice said.

"What the-?" Zim's eyes got used to the light and he saw that the voice belonged to Kellaway, who was holding a lamp and shining it's light on Zim's face. "Kellaway! Get that light out of my face!"

Kellaway turned the lamp off and sat on the seat on the opposite side of the table. "Hello Zim. We'd just like to ask you a few questions. They concern your buddy, The ZiMask."

Zim was puzzled to hear this until he remembered that Kellaway didn't know Zim was The ZiMask. "Um, didn't I tell you. He was in the pit. How'd you get out of the pit? Go back to the pit!"

"Oh I checked the pit. He wasn't there." Kellaway said. "Now are you going to tell us where he's hiding or do we'll make you tell."

"Yeah, you and what army?" Zim snickered.

"Me and this army." All of a sudden, as if on cue. A dozen or so moving shapes could be seen moving in the darkness. After awhile the shapes began to look like people. When they entered the light Zim's eyes widened in bewilderment as he realized all of those people looked like Kellaway. "Zim, meet me, myself and I, and the rest of the gang."

Zim gulped, a mixed look of panic and surprise could be seen on his face. "_Clones? This earthanoid has clones of himself! Okay, okay don't worry. GIR's probably on his way with the Mask. I'm sure of it."_

(Meanwhile, in the evil Dr. So's secret bayou base…)

"You can't stop me Agent MASK." The maniacal Dr. So said to MASK as he fiddled with a control panel. "I've pressed the big, laser, gun thingie button that fires the big, laser, gun thingie. Soon it will literally cause all of the Irken Armada's spaceships to breakdance, thus destroying them and allowing STENCH (Society of Terrible Evil Naughty Hoodlums) to take over the entire cosmos!"

"That's what you think!" the miniature agent said as he blasted some of the good doctor's henchmen with his ice gun. "Gotta find the off switch." MASK said to himself. Suddenly he spied a giant button labeled "OFF". "Bingo." He jumped to the giant button and tried to push it. It didn't budge. He tried punching it, but that didn't help either. Then he started doing all sorts of dramatic punches and kicks but the button still didn't move. "What's wrong with this thing?" But MASK had to halt his assault on the button when Dr. So attacked him with his mechanical thumbs.

"Oh you like it?" Dr. So asked. "That button requires incredible amounts of strength to push. Only my cybernetic opposable thumbs have the strength to push it." Once again, Dr. So tried to crush MASK with his destructive thumbs. MASK dodged masterfully and tried to blast them with his ice gun, but found it pointless as they were immune to cold. Then an idea occurred to the Double-0-agent. He stood in front of the OFF button and spread out his arms as if coaxing Dr. So into hitting him. The doctor swung. MASK ducked. The button was pushed. The laser ceased. Furious, Dr. So attacked MASK again but accidentally hit another button labeled "Self-Destruct". The moment it was pressed the big, laser gun started to shake violently. The place was starting to fall apart and the doctor was alarmed to see that his thumb was still stuck on the Self Destruct button, which was curiously enough, covered with gum. "How'd this gum get here?"

"Let's just say I had a feeling you'd press it." MASK turned on his boosters and preparing to fly to safety.

"Wait, you're not just going to leave me here to die, are you?" Dr. So asked, still struggling with his thumb.

"Well, I've never heard of any spy helping a villain in the movies." MASK replied.

"You could be the first." Dr. So said desperately.

"Maybe." MASK had a look of deep thought and sincerity on his face, giving Dr. So a glimmer of hope. Then MASK shot Dr. So with his ice gun. "But who am I to change tradition?" MASK smiled and flew away leaving the exploding base for parts unknown.

(Back to Zim)

"Now since you won't talk. I guess we'll just have to make you tell us where The ZiMask is." One of the Kellaways said.

"Are you an idiot? Don't you know that The ZiMask is my…" Zim barely stopped himself from revealing his secret.

"Your what?"

"…My best friend. And he'll be here soon and he'll destroy you all! You hear me? DESTROY!" Zim exclaimed.

"That's what you think." Another Kellaway said. "You know that weapon we used on The ZiMask earlier?"

"You mean the plunger?"

"Yes, the plunger. We've attached it to a machine that spreads it's magic-negating energy throughout the base. So the moment that Mask-wearing shortstop comes in, he'll be powerless." A Kellaway said.

"Hey, what happened to your face?" Zim asked, noticing that one of his captors had an extremely large nose.

"Oh, that's a side affect of cloning" a Kellaway said. "After awhile, some unstable clones of myself tend to deteriorate or deviate from the original genetic make-up like that one." He pointed to a Kellway with a scarred face. "Or that one." He pointed to one with robotic arms. "Or that one." He pointed to another with a hunch. "But worst of all these mutations is the worst accident of all." He motioned to one wearing glasses, plaid shorts and a polo shirt. "Greg."

"Hi guys." Greg greeted.

"Go back to your room Greg!" they all said in unison.

Greg looked at them with a sulky expression on his face and turned to leave. "I never get to do anything around here." Someone threw a crumpled piece of paper at him.

The Kellaways waited until Greg was out of sight. Afterwards they all surrounded Zim, looking at him menacingly. "Alright, enough with the chit-chat. Now since you won't tell us where the ZiMask is we're going to interrogate you now." Kellaway said. They raised their fists and… "Uh, how do you interrogate someone again?" a short Kellaway asked. "Uh, yeah. How do you interrogate someone?" a tall Kellaway asked. "Are you two stupid or something? Any moron knows that you interrogate someone by…by…um, I don't know."

The Kellaways started arguing amongst themselves over the subject of interrogation. Zim realized that over-cloning had caused the Kellaways' intelligence to deteriorate. Zim grinned. "I can tell you the first step to interrogating someone."

"Really?"

"Of course, what kind of prisoner would I be if I didn't help you?" Zim asked insidiously. "Now anyone knows that the first step of interrogation is to let the interrogated call his pals on his normal everyday communicator, which isn't an alien communication device to tell them he's okay."

"Don't listen to him guys. He's trying to trick you." Greg stated.

"Shut your noise maker clone human." Zim blasted Greg with his laser beam. The Kellaways cheered. "Now that that little distraction is out of the way, I'll make my phone call." Zim turned his back to the Kellaways and turned on his alien communication device. The picture on the screen was MiniMoose. "MiniMoose where's GIR?" Zim asked the floating moose in a hushed whisper.

"Squeak!" MiniMoose replied.

"He's not there? Then what's taking him so long? And what do you mean by 'the kitchen is frozen'?" Just then, Zim remembered something. "Wait."

(Flashback)

GIR had been throwing ice cubes around the apartment for 6 weeks and Zim was getting tired of it. "GIR, stop that!"

"I'm not GIR." GIR said in a determined voice. "I am the Chillanator. Feel my frosty wrath green man." GIR threw an ice cube at Zim's head.

"In your pathetic cybernetic fantasies, GIR."

(End Flashback)

The last part echoed in Zim's head. "In your pathetic cybernetic fantasies, GIR. In your pathetic cybernetic fantasies GIR. In your pathetic cybernetic fantasies, GIR." It took Zim a few long seconds for the truth to set in. "Oh no." Zim cried.

"Alright, you called your friends, what next?" The Kellaways were eager to continue the 'interrogation'.

Zim had to stall for time. Even if GIR did have the Mask, maybe he'd remember to bring it to Zim. "Uh…put on a puppet show?" Zim said uneasily. A few minutes later, the Kellaways were doing a re-enactment of War & Peace using sock puppets.

To be continued...


End file.
